What a shock, a journey.... I still am just amazed.
You see within this blog are words that have been typed through out this past year. First part was written in my journal on March 9, 2013. Then apparently I stumbled on the passage on September 3 and wrote this on my Wordpress blog, but just left it. Then on December 7, 2013 I yet again stumbled on it and I guess I decide to copy and paste and email to myself where it has sat until now, March 25, 2014.
Now,.. What is even more amazing to me is This Past Sunday at church a message was delivered with my name all over it. I am not going to try to explain the message, because I will not be able to do it justice. But,... the bases of it is Samson (world's strongest man) is bound up and not being who he was created to be.... Because he was Bound up. Then he basically woke up, broke the bondage, picked up what was ordinary and right there... (a skeleton Jaw Bone from a donkey) and used it to win His Victory over the enemy!
I walked up to be prayed for-- all that I had pretty much allowed and chosen not to fight just as Samson broke off, but yet something was still there another part still hanging on. I wept and knew I cannot stand, stay here in this place any longer. I had to completely be free. I turn to a sweet person sitting next to me that God had directed me too. I asked her to pray for me as the Lord led her. God directed her and the last strand broke. I am not crazy, but I am one who believes and knows God works and rejoices in Doing the Supernatural just for us, just to be free and for us to call upon His Glory, Truth and Power!
The way I have left this is completely as it was from my email and where I have copied and pasted and copied and pasted each time. I know it could be confusing and it is not the smoothes of reads...... But it is real, it is a journey - a process and I want you to feel that.
Why, because we all are on a journey. I do not want anyone to run away, be bound up, make excesses or deny God's Power, Authority and Truth. When I opened up and started to read the email it made me cry ...yet...again! It has been a long year, one with many twists and turns. I just followed and didn't ask why. I just know I can no longer be silent, I can no longer turn and act like I didn't see and I cannot pretend its ok not to step into the light that draws criticism, because I speak of Jesus Christ, His Power and Glory. He wants to shower, rain, pour upon us All He has for us. It's been a Long Winter.... but, it is Spring. It is time. (3/25/14)
On Dec 7, 2013, at 2:53 AM, Katie Baldwin <email@example.com> wrote:
I have been very slowly working on new little ideas, a few are complete the other are moving at a snail's pace. I have so many ideas that rush and scream try this, try that and my filter apparently is non-existent! I have this idea doing all at the same time is brilliant. What it really is, is slow going. I'm like a bee going from project to project and although I have worked All day, it doesn't seem so, because I want "Them All Done"! Till then I will just keep pressing on, posting as each is finished. (3/9/13)
Having a war within yourself is a battle many of us deal with and yet we can hide it and nobody would ever know, we can smile, talk the talk, make it all look so good, yet we are the ones living the battle. Why we chose to do it alone I will never understand. I don't mean alone, in reaching out to people around us, which is good, I'm talking about crying out to God and saying Help! I cannot not do this, never were we meant too... ...Help!
I have had a raging battle within me for years. It may seem simple when I say it, but for me it has been about as fun as riding a boat in the middle of the sea during a terrible storm.
In the early 90's I started my artwork, then it had no name or even a though of a call/gift, it was just something I did. Soon the Prophesies and encouraging words about my art flooded me. I was so blessed, so encouraged. But also at the same time another gift was starting to emerge, I didn't think much about it, because I did not realize it was a gift, a thing called Prophesy. I just thought that what you do when you became a christian, you hear and speak to God...just that simple.
These two gifts as wonderful as they each are and I am humbled and in awe how even God would use me in the words and art he gives. I am just as in awe as the ones he uses me to bless. The other side of that is the battle it has taken to get to this point. The learning, waiting, tears, frustration, misunderstanding, mistakes and wanting to run away. How can the two stand side by side... Only in God. Perfect picture of Jesus asleep in the boat and the disciples panicking, questioning Jesus. That is a great picture of the world I feel and have lived with.
Never feeling I am a artist, never feeling seasoned/qualified as a prophet, just stuck in the middle, one foot in and one foot out and always the though I can just run! Thank God he never let me run( or run to far, lol), Thank God he held me even when I though I cannot do this anymore, I just want to hide. He has brought me to the place that the feeling of running is still there and the thoughts of "will this ever end" or that I'm just not good enough all still fight me, but now there a difference... I run to Him. Before I thought I did, now I do. I will not make it any further if I quit running to Him.
Some may look at my art and see no value, some may believe there is no such thing as someone who hears and speaks the words of God and encouragement or wisdom/direction... That's ok, I do and that is who needs to believe it for me to fill my role on the path I am to walk in His Kingdom. Yeah, I am a bit squirrelly and talk way more than most, but I finally have come to a place as I have teased... I have "come one with the squirrel and I embraced my inner squirrel". You have no idea how many battles, tears and years it has taken to get to that place... and really, really mean it.
My name is Katherine Marshall Lundy Baldwin, but I like Katie,... I am probably the messiest artist you will ever meet, My style of art is unbalanced, off center, messy, borderline chaotic.. yet it is divinely given, anointed driven and it will speak volumes to you if you have ears to hear and eyes to see. Not only are the words speaking, but also the colors, shapes and the rhythm and harmony that is swirling and flowing all for you to hear. I am probably the longest, long, winded prophet that will ever give you a word, in fact I was told by a dear friend I don't give words, I give dissertations. But I am also direct, precise, focused, endearing and most of all the vessel I was created to be to deliver God's loving words to open your heart so that His anointing can pour in, caress and do for you what no body else can do.
Amazingly he has chosen to intertwine these two gift and have them flow and pour in ways I do not and cannot understand, yet time and time again I stand in amazement as He does. I understand this may seem like a self absorbed, look at me,..etc, etc statement, but if I could only show you the mountains and warfare to come to this place and Even More to publicly put it on display,... you would be amazed. Honor and Glory to God!
Why put this out there? Because I must prove to myself I am dead to this. That my constant attack/flaw of hiding, running and total lack of confidence in,... I am a artist and I love to create, I am a prophet and I love to encourage and wrapping them together and doing this the rest of my life would most definitely be a desire of my heart!!! Now to step into the fullness by not being ashamed , just as I have embraced my inner squirrel, I now embrace the ministry I have become a pro at dodging all because I was afraid of what people think of me and I would make a mistake.
My gift of art and gift of prophesy are given to me, I did not ask for them, I can only be the best artist / prophet I am led and taught by the Lord to be, I cannot look to the left or right and see other artist or prophets, because they are just not me.
I invite you to visit my website, whether you need the ministry of the art or ministry of the prophetic you can call on me. As all of us, I have not arrived, I just have just begun, but I am blessed and honored whether it is in ministering to you in creating words through the visual or the spoken I am here at your service and the service of our Wonderful Heavenly Father, all for His Kingdom. (9/3/13)
I wrote that above on September 3... I just cannot explain how, it just seems like a whirlwind to me since then. The quest to do what I believe is my path, everyday seeking and looking almost being more afraid of being wrong than trusting and knowing I am right. It is far easier to believe in doubts than stand with Faith.
Now I can go back to the Katie on March 9 and tell her, you are on the right track! It seem crazy and even at times feels a bit crazy... buzzing back and forth wanting to see everything done so I can share my blessings I have been gifted with, but just as I figured out that day... I just keep pressing and even if it feels like it so slow just rejoice in each art piece, each prophesy given knowing it is one more beautiful masterpiece God allowed me to be apart of. (12/7/13)
I was reading a few days ago about a question God asked Bob Jones many years ago...
"Did you learn to Love?" That has just been rolling in my thoughts. We as Christians say we want to be all we can be, we want to be like Jesus. I believe we all do, but it is a cost. It means dying to personal preferences, ideas, wants and desires. We hear this and our flesh ends up trying to twist and wiggle our spirit into agreeing, now let not get to crazy about this! Reason and logic of this world infects us, so we must go into prayer and digesting the word to renew and inoculate ourselves daily to be free from even one tiny pinch of our flesh trying to direct our path.
We must each ask ourselves is being mad, fearful, non-trusting, anxious, frustrated, annoyed worth losing one second of His glorious love? According to God's word if we learned to Love we did what is right. In all that we each go through the good, great, bad and the ugly we must decide,.. who am I and who's am I. If I am His then my heart tell me to Stand in Love. Stand Brave, commit to Love and all to what God's word speaks. In 1 John 2:20 it speaks:
You have the gift that the Holy One gave you, So you know all truth.
The word also says that God first loved us, He chose us and chose us for His work. In 2 Corinthians 1:21 :
God is the one who makes you and I strong in Christ. God is also the one who chose us for this work.
I love the recent movie from Disney "Alice in Wonderland". Once Alice is in Wonderland she is taken to Absalom, he asks her who she is and she says "Alice"! He replies, "we shall see." Then they pull out the "Oraculum" which reveals the sword wielding Alice in her armor ready to defeat the dragon. Alice see these pictures and does not recognize herself and states "that's not me!" Which Absalom replies "not hardly." Later after all she experiences and must make a brave and self-sacrificing decision. Yet again she finds herself before Absalom and he asks her "who are you? "I'm Alice...just not that one" she answers. He asks her "how do you know?" She replies" you told me yourself'", Absalom says "I said you were not hardly Alice, but you are much more Alice than you use to be, in fact, you're almost Alice>" Alice then finally gets to the place she must decide..... will she choose her destiny or walk away? Once again there is Absalom to counsel Alice. He tells her as he sees her tears and pacing back and forth with fear, anxiety, wanting to run, "nothing is ever solved with tears."
Through their conversation she tells him she needs his counsel. He replies, " How can I help you if you don't even know who you are... stupid girl!' This time his words struck a cord! She answered back, "I'm not stupid", "my name is Alice, I live in London. My mother's name is Helen, and my sister's name is Margaret. My father is Charles Kingsley. He had a Vision that stretched half way around the world and nothing ever stopped him. I'm his daughter... I'm Alice Kingsley!" Absalom stated, "Alice at last!" He then instructs her hold on to the sword to defeat the dragon.... he tells her the sword knows what to do, just hold on to it!
It is up to us to fulfill our own destiny.... by Knowing God's word and what it says we are. God has already put his plan in your life inside you whether we each recognize it or not, we must just hold on!
We must stop fighting the identity of who we are. Alice wanted to wake up all to escape the destiny to which she was to be. When we do not believe in what God has called us to be it brings a confusion into our lives, giving us this false idea we need to wake up from this place we do not want to be. Having a destiny placed within us, yet fighting it because we do not understand or don't want that path is wrong.... we have no idea what tomorrow brings. It is not for anyone of us to decide what is right or wrong by the direct and plan God has placed within us, it is only for us to be obedient to His will in our life and the direct spoken in His word. No man or woman can put someone in a place, it is only God. Then it is each person's responsibility to seek and know His heart for our Destiny.
This Movie speaks in volumes to me and I hope as I have shared it, you hear the message it speaks too.... The Love of God.... the wonderful and glorious love he showers on us, share it. Not my choice, but by purpose. Live out your life with the purpose placed within you. Don't be afraid, don't entertain the lies of the enemy.
The Lord shared with me many months ago the value of one. The value of one multiplied in the natural is one, but the value of one multiplied by God makes us stand and be able to move mountains, shake kingdoms, change and trigger a move of God and open doors where no one cared. Glorious Love.... it is choosing to not care for your will, your way, your pain. It turns into your passion.... then God after all the kicking and screaming, demanding and debating...... can say " Katie at last!" Just as Alice was on her path of many decisions, she finally declared exactly who she was. In that declaration she then received the instruction how to defeat the enemy.... No more confusion and no more running.
Be Blessed. Don't Run. Don't Give-Up. Let Go. Be Still. Seek, Believe. Stand Brave. Trust. Know He is God!
I pray that I can always answer yes to God as he asks me, " Did you Learn to Love?"